Fortitude of Character: How We Look on the Inside

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From the time I was a little girl I was told that I was pretty. I still am quite incredulous about it. Like every other girl I scrutinize myself in the mirror. “I am too tall, too gawky, my lips are too small, I am too skinny here and too big there...” Like many girls I am self-conscious, and I can be a little dependent on the way others perceive me. I think I began modeling as a way to try an make myself feel beautiful, after all, there's always Photoshop! Slowly though, it grew into something else.

As I age, I am realizing that what you are on the inside physically changes the way you see other people, and in turn, how you are viewed.

Think about it, how often have you met someone and your first impression was that they weren't good looking. Then, when you get to know them and you find that they have an amazing personality you start seeing their beauty? What I don't like about my body has nothing to do with my physical features –it never did. It was something within myself that was reflecting out and causing me to be unhappy with the girl I saw in the mirror. I guess I didn't know myself so I didn't know how to be myself. I was projecting a personality that habitually depended on who I was interacting with. That's a pretty harsh thing to realize, but it eventually led to an incredibly needed confidence boost. I began to get into modeling and photography (and pretty much every form of art there is). Don't get me wrong, I am far from being able to say that I feel beautiful, but when I model, and I'm collaborating with a fantastic photographer it's too much fun. Slowly I'm starting to understand what it means to have a little fortitude of character. I feel like my healthier connection with my mind and body has started to show through a little more in my art.

I also think it's important to mention that I also started eating healthy, exercising, reading, etc. to help take my mind off of my insecurities and redirect my emotions. Sometimes it takes big changes in our lives to make them more livable. I am currently in the early stages of launching my journey to authenticity and self-confidence. I am learning who I am and what makes me happy. It's tough work, but it must be done!

An emotionally healthy life is one in which the emotions are moderated by right reason.

We all have veritable smorgasbord of emotions. I feel that emotions have an instinctive need to be guided by reason. To attain an emotionally healthy life your emotions have to be balanced by right reason.

Photo by Scott Nolan

It follows that emotional stability and well-being are the result of a certain structuring in which the emotions that are petulant and weak body-images are subject to a will that in turn is subject to logic and self-empowerment. It can be unhealthy to let one's emotions govern their volition and the reason. When that happens our emotions are left unchecked and go flying out unguided. They are governed by a mind not rectified by reason via virtues such as prudence and inner strength.

Of course, many practices assisted me in my journey, but the ones that helped the most are the ones that keep me grounded in myself today, living in the moment and creating things for people to look at and focusing on my family. To do all of those things well, I know that I have to feel mentally happy with myself. There are days I feel awful about myself, but slowly I'm learning the tools to turn my focus inward and work on what perspectives I have that need changing.

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